Anand
Sanskar : (Sikh Matrimonial Ceremony and Conventions)
a.
A Sikh man and woman should enter wedlock without giving thought to
the prospective spouse's caste and descent.
b. A Sikh's daughter must be married to a Sikh.
c. A Sikh's marriage should be solemnized by Anand
marriage rites.
d. Child marriage is taboo for Sikhs.
e. When a girl becomes marriageable, physically,
emotionally and by virtue of maturity of character, a suitable Sikh
match should be found and she be married to him by Anand marriage
rites.
f. Marriage may not be preceded by engagement
ceremony. But if an engagement ceremony is sought to he held, a
congregational gathering should be held and, after offering the Ardas
before the Guru Granth Sahib, a kirpan, a steel Karah and some sweets
may be tendered to the boy.
g. Consulting horoscopes for determining which day
or date is auspicious or otherwise for fixing the day of the marriage
is a sacrilege. Any day that the parties find suitable by mutual
consultation should be fixed.
h. Putting on floral or gilded face ornamentation,
decorative headgear or red thread band round the wrist, worshipping of
ancestors, dipping feet in rffiik mixed with water, cutting a berry or
jandi (Prosopis spieigera) bushes, filling pitcher, ceremony of
retirement in feigned displeasure, reciting couplets, performing
havans (Sacrificial fire), installing vedi (a wooden canopy or
pavilion under which Hindu marriages are performed), prostitutes'
dances, drinking liquor, are all sacrileges.
i. The marriage party should have as small a number
of people as the girl's people desire. The two sides should greet each
other singing sacred hymns and finally by the Sikh greetings of
Waheguru ji ka Khalsa, Waheguru ji ki Fateh.
j. For marriage, there should be a congregational
gathering in the holy presence of Guru Granth Sahib. There should be
hymn-singing by ragis or by the whole congregation. Then the girl and
the boy should he made to sit facing the Guru Granth Sahib. The girl
should sit on the left side of the boy. After soliciting the
congregation's permission, the master of the marriage ceremony (who
may be a man or a woman) should bid the boy and girl and their parents
or guardians to stand and should offer the Ardas for the commencement
of the Anand marriage ceremony.
The officiant should then apprise the boy and the girl of the duties
and obligations of conjugal life according to the Guru's tenets.
He should initially give to the two an exposition of their common
mutual obligations. He should tell them how to model the husband-wife
relationship on the love between the individual soul and the Supreme
Soul in the light of the contents of circumambulation (Lavan) Sabads
in the Suhi measure (Rag) section of the Guru Granth Sahib.
He should explain to them the notion of the state of "a single
soul in two bodies" to be achieved through love and make them see
how they may attain union with the Immortal Being discharging duties
and obligations of the householders' life. Both of them, they should
be told, have to make their conjugal union a means to the fulfillment
of the purpose of the journey of human existence; both have to lead
clean and Guru-oriented lives through the instrumentality of their
union.
He should then explain to the boy and girl individually their
respective conjugal duties as husband and wife.
The bridegroom should be told that the girl's people having chosen
him as the fittest match from among a lot, he should regard his wife
as his better half, accord to unflinching love and share with her all
that he has. In situations, he should protect her person and honour,
should be completely loyal to her and he should show much respect and
consideration for her parents and as for his own.
The girl should be told that she has been joined matrimony to her man
in the hallowed presence of the Guru Granth Sahib and the
congregation. She should ever harbor for him deferential solicitude,
regard him the lord master of her love and trust; she should remain
firm in loyalty to him and serve him in joy and sorrow and in every
clime (native or foreign) and should show the same and consideration
to his parents and relatives as she to her own parents and relatives.
The boy and girl should bow before the Guru Granth Sahib to betoken
their acceptance of these instructions. Thereafter, the girl's father
or the principal relation should make the girl grasp one end of the
sash which the boy wearing over his shoulders and the person in
attendance the Guru Granth Sahib should recite the matrimonial
circumambulation stanzas {Lavan of the Fourth Nanak, Guru Ram Das
Sahib in the Suhi Rag of the Guru Granth Sahib } (Pp. 773-4). After
the conclusion of the recitation of each of the stanzas, the boy,
followed by the girl holding the end of the sash, should go round the
Guru Granth Sahib while the ragis or the congregation sing out the
recited stanza.
The boy and girl, after every circumambulation, should bow before the
Guru Granth Sahib in genuflexion, lowering their forehead to touch the
ground and then stand up to listen to the recitation of the next
stanza. There being four matrimonial circumambulation stanzas in the
concerned hymn, the proceeding will comprise four circumambulation
with the incidental singing of the stanza. After the four
circumabulation, the boy and girl should, after bowing before the Guru
Granth Sahib, sit down at the appointed place and the Ragis or the
person who has conducted the ceremony should recite the first five and
the last stanza of the Anand Sahib. Thereafter, the Ardas should he
offered to mark the conclusion of the Anand marriage ceremony and the
Karhah Parshad, distributed'.
k. Persons professing faiths other than the Sikh
faith cannot be joined in wedlock by the Anand Karaj ceremony.
l. No Sikh should accept a match for his/her son or
daughter for monetary consideration.
m. If the girl's parents at any time or on any
occasion visit their daughter's home and a meal is ready there, they
should not hesitate to eat there. Abstaining from eating at the girl's
home is a superstition. The Khalsa has been blessed with the boon of
victuals and making others eat by the Guru and the Immortal Being. The
girl's and boy's people should keep accepting each other's
hospitality, because the Guru has joined them in relationship of
equality (Prem Sumarag).
n. If a woman's husband has died, she may, if she so
wishes, finding a match suitable for her, remarry. For a Sikh man
whose wife has died, similar ordinance obtains.
o. The remarriage may be solemnized in the same
manner as the Anand marriage.
p. Generally, no Sikh should marry a second wife if
the first wife is alive.
q. Amritdhari Sikh ought to get his wife also
Amritdhari
