THE CODE
OF SIKH CONDUCT AND CONVENTIONS
CHAPTER XI
Ceremonies pertaining to Birth and Naming of Child
Article
XVII
a. In a Sikh's household, as soon after the birth of a child
as the mother becomes capable of moving about and taking bath
(irrespective of the number of days which that takes), the
family and relatives should go to a Gurdwara with Karhah Prashad
(sacred pudding) or get Karhah Prashad made in the Gurdwara
and recite in the holy presence of the Guru Granth Sahib such
hymns as "Parmeshar dita bana" {Sorath M. 5} (The Almighty
Lord has granted support. [Sorath M. 5, Guru Granth Sahib
P. 628]), "Satguru sache dia bhej" {Asa M. 5} (The true Lord
has sent this gift. [Asa M. 5, Guru Granth Sahib P. 396])
that are expressive of joy and thankfulness. Thereafter
if a reading of the holy Guru Granth Sahib had been
taken up, that should be concluded. Then the holy Hukam (command)
should be taken. A name starting with the first letter
of the Shabad of the Hukam (command) should he proposed
by the Granthi (man in attendance of Guru Granth Sahib) and,
after its acceptance by the congregation, the name should
be announced by him. The boy's name must have the suffix
"Singh" and the girl's, the suffix "Kaur".
After that the
Anand Sahib (short version comprising six stanzas) should
be recited and the Ardas in appropriate
terms expressing joy over the naming ceremony be offered and
the Karhah Prashad distributed.
b. The superstition as to the pollution
of food and water in consequence of birth (There is a
wide-spread belief among certain sections of Indian people
that a birth in a household causes pollution
(sutak) which is removed by the thorough bathing of the mother,
the baby and persons attending on her as
also by a thorough cleaning of the house, the utensils and
the clothes, after prescribed periods of ten, twenty one and
forty days.) must not be subscribed to,
for the holy writ is : "The birth and death are by His ordinance;
coming and going is by His will. All food
and water are, in principle, clean, for these life-sustaining
substances are provided by Him."
c. Making shirts or frocks for children out of the
Holy Book's draperies is a sacrilege.
Anand Sanskar (Lit. Joyful Ceremonial : Sikh
Matrimonial Ceremony and Conventions)
Article XVIII
a. A Sikh man and woman should enter wedlock
without giving thought to the prospective spouse's
caste and descent.
b. A Sikh's daughter must be married to
a Sikh.
c. A Sikh's marriage should be solemnized
by Anand marriage rites.
d. Child marriage is taboo for Sikhs.
e. When a girl becomes marriageable, physically,
emotionally and by virtue of maturity of character,
a suitable Sikh match should be found and she be married to
him by Anand marriage
rites.
f. Marriage may not be preceded by engagement
ceremony. But if an engagement ceremony
is sought to he held, a congregational gathering should be
held and, after offering
the Ardas before the Guru Granth Sahib, a kirpan, a steel
bangle and some sweets
may be tendered to the boy.
g. Consulting horoscopes for determining which
day or date is auspicious or otherwise for fixing
the day of the marriage is a sacrilege. Any day that the parties
find suitable by mutual
consultation should be fixed.
h. Putting on floral or gilded face ornamentation,
decorative headgear or red thread band round
the wrist, worshipping of ancestors, dipping feet in milk
mixed with water, cutting a berry
or jandi (Prosopis spieigera) bushes, filling pitcher, ceremony
of retirement in feigned
displeasure, reciting couplets, performing havans (Sacrificial
fire), installing vedi (a
wooden canopy or pavilion under which Hindu marriages are
performed), prostitutes' dances,
drinking liquor, are all sacrileges.
i. The marriage party should have as small a
number of people as the girl's people desire. The
two sides should greet each other singing sacred hymns and
finally by the Sikh greetings
of Waheguru ji ka Khalsa, Waheguru ji ki Fateh.
j. For marriage, there should be a congregational
gathering in the holy presence of Guru Granth
Sahib. There should be hymn-singing by ragis or by the whole
congregation. Then
the girl and the boy should he made to sit facing the Guru
Granth Sahib. The girl should
sit on the left side of the boy. After soliciting the
congregation's permission, the master
of the marriage ceremony (who may be a man or a woman) should
bid the boy and
girl and their parents or guardians to stand and should offer
the Ardas for the commencement
of the Anand marriage ceremony.
The
officiant should then apprise the boy and the girl of
the duties and obligations of conjugal
life according to the Guru's tenets.
He
should initially give to the two an exposition of their common
mutual obligations. He should tell them how to model the husband-wife
relationship on the love between the individual soul and the
Supreme Soul in the light of the contents of circumambulation
(Lavan) hymns in the Suhi measure (rag) section (The bulk
of the Guru Granth (the Sikh holy book ) is divided
on the basis of the ragas (measures) of the Indian classical
music. Suhi is one of the ragas featuring in the Guru Granth
Sahib) of the Guru Granth Sahib.
He should explain to them the notion of the state
of "a single soul in two bodies" to be
achieved through love and make them see how they may attain
union with the Immortal Being
discharging duties and obligations of the householders' life.
Both of them, they should be told, have to make their
conjugal union a means to the fulfillment of the purpose of
the journey of human existence; both have to lead clean and
Guru-oriented lives through the instrumentality of their union.
He should then explain to the boy and girl individually their
respective conjugal duties as husband and wife.
The bridegroom should be told that the girl's people having
chosen him as the fittest match
from among a whole lot, he should regard his wife as his better half,
accord to unflinching
love and share with her all that he has. In all situations,
he should protect her
person and honour, he should be completely loyal to her and
he should show much respect
and consideration for her parents and relations as for his
own.
The girl should be told that she has been joined in matrimony
to her man in the hallowed
presence of the Guru Granth Sahib and the congregation.
She should ever harbour
for him deferential solicitude, regard him the lord master
of her love and trust; she
should remain firm in her loyalty to him and serve him in
joy and sorrow and in every
clime (native or foreign) and should show the same regard
and consideration to his
parents and relatives as she would, to her own parents and
relatives.
The boy and girl should bow before the Guru Granth Sahib to
betoken their acceptance
of these instructions. Thereafter, the girl's father or the
principal relation should
make the girl grasp one end of the sash which the boy is wearing
over his shoulders
and the person in attendance of the Guru Granth Sahib should
recite the matrimonial
circumambulation stanzas {Lavan of the fourth Guru in the
Suhi musical measure
section of the Guru Granth Sahib } (Pp. 773-4). After the
conclusion of the recitation of
each of the stanzas, the boy, followed by the girl holding
the end of the sash, should
go round the Guru Granth Sahib while the
ragis or the congregation sing out
the recited stanza.
The boy and girl, after every circumambulation, should bow
before the Guru Granth Sahib
in genuflexion, lowering their forehead to touch the ground
and then stand up to listen
to the recitation of the next stanza.There being four matrimonial
circumambulation stanzas
in the concerned hymn, the proceeding will comprise
four circumambulations with
the incidental singing of the stanza.After the fourth circumabulation,
the boy and girl should,
after bowing before the Guru Granth Sahib, sit down at the
appointed place and the
Ragis or the person who has conducted the ceremony should
recite the first five and the
last stanza of the Anand Sahib. Thereafter, the Ardas should
he offered to mark the conclusion
of the Anand marriage ceremony and the sacred pudding, distributed'.
k. Persons
professing faiths other than the Sikh faith cannot be joined
in wedlock by the Anand
Karaj ceremony.
l.
No Sikh should accept a match for his/her son or daughter for
monetary consideration.
m. If the
girl's parents at any time or on any occasion visit their
daughter's home and a
meal is ready there, they should not hesitate to eat
there. Abstaining from eating at
the girl's home is a superstition. The Khalsa has been blessed
with the boon of victuals
and making others eat by the Guru and the Immortal Being.
The girl's and boy's
people should keep accepting each other's hospitality, because
the Guru has joined
them in relationship of equality (Prem Sumarag).
n.
If a woman's husband has died, she may, if she so wishes,
finding a match suitable
for her, remarry. For a Sikh man whose wife has died, similar
ordinance obtains.
o. The remarriage
may be solemnized in the same manner as the Anand marriage.
p. Generally,
no Sikh should marry a second wife if the first wife is alive.
q. A baptised
ought to get his wife also baptised.
Funeral Ceremonies (Antam Sanskar)
Article XIX
a. The body of a dying
or dead person, if it is on a cot, must not be taken off the
cot z and
put on the floor. Nor must a lit lamp be placed beside,
or a cow got bestowed in donation
by, him/her or for his/her good or any other ceremony,
contrary to Guru's way,performed.
Only Gurbani should be recited or "Waheguru, Waheguru" repeated
by
his/her side.
b. When some one shuffles
the mortal coil, the survivors must not grieve or raise a
hue and cry or indulge
in breast beating. To induce a mood of resignation to God's
will, it is desirable
to recite Gurbani or repeat "Waheguru".
c. However young the deceased
may be, the body should be cremated. However, where arrangements
for cremation cannot be made, there should be no qualm about
the body being immersed
in flowing water or disposed of in any other manner.
d. As to the time of cremation,
no consideration as to whether it should take place during
day or night should weigh.
e. The dead body should be
bathed and clothed in clean clothes. While that is done, the
Sikh symbols-comb, kachha, karha,
kirpan-should not be taken off. Thereafter putting the body
on a plank, Ardas about its being taken away for disposal
be offered. The hearse should
then be lifted and taken to the cremation ground. While the
body is being carried to the
cremation ground, hymns that induce feelings of detachment
should be recited. On reaching
the cremation ground, the pyre should be laid. Then the Ardas
for consigning the body to fire
be offered. The dead body should then be placed on the pyre
and the son or any other relation
or friend of the deceased should set fire to it, The accompanying
congregation should sit at a
reasonable distance and listen to kirtan or carry on collective
singing of hymns or recitation of
detachment-inducing hymns. When the pyre is fully aflame,
the Kirtan Sohila (prescribed preretirement night Scriptural
prayer) be recited and
the Ardas offered. (Piercing the Skull half an hour or so
after the pyre has been burning
with a rod or something else in the belief that will secure
the release of the soul- kapal
kriya-is contrary to the Guru's tenets). The congregation
should then leave. Coming
back home, a reading of the Guru Granth Sahib should be commenced
at home or in a nearby
Gurdwara, and after reciting the six stanzas of the Anand
Sahib, the Ardas,
offered and Karhah prashad (sacred pudding) distributed. The
reading of the Guru Granth
Sahib should be completed on the tenth day. If the reading
cannot, or is sought not
to, be completed on the tenth day, some other day may be appointed
for the conclusion of
the reading having regard to the convenience of the relatives.
The reading of the Guru
Granth Sahib should be carried out by the members of the household
of the deceased and relatives
in cooperation. If possible, Kirtan may be held every night.
No funeral ceremony remains
to be performed after the "tenth day."
f. When
the pyre is burnt out, the whole bulk of the ashes, including
the burnt bones, should be gathered
up and immersed in flowing water or buried at that very place
and the ground levelled. Raising
a monument to the memory of the deceased at the place where
his dead body is cremated is
taboo.
g. Adh Marg (the ceremony
of breaking the pot used for bathing the dead body amid doleful
cries half way towards the cremation ground), organised lamentation
by women, foorhi (sitting on a straw
mat in mourning for a certain period), diva (keeping an oil
lamp lit for 360 days after the death
in the belief that that will light the path of the deceased),
Pind (ritual donating of lumps of
rice flour, oat flour, or solidified milk (khoa) for ten days
after death), kirya (concluding
the funeral proceedings ritualistically, serving meals and
making offerings by way of Shradh,
Budha marna (waving of whisk, over the hearse of an old person's
dead body and decorating the hearse with festoons), etc. are
contrary to the approved code. So
too is the picking of the burnt bones from the ashes of the
pyre for immersing in the Ganga, at
Patalpuri (Kiratpur), at Kartarpur Sahib or at any other such
place.
Other Rites and Conventions
Article XX
Apart
from these rites and conventions, on every
happy or sad occasion, such as moving
into a new house, setting up a new business (shop), putting
a child to school, etc., a Sikh should
pray for God's help by performing the Ardas. The essential
components of all rites and
ceremonies in Sikhism are the recitation of the Gurbani (Sikh
Scriptures) and the performing
of the Ardas.
